מספר אישי

(הצבעות: 55)

פורסם ב-2010-01-17 – 13:30 | מאת

אוננות.

ע”ע מספר אי זוגי.

“אחרי שראה את היצע החיילות בבסיס, הבין שיצטרך להסתפק במספר אישי.”

“כשהחברה שלך בדרום אמריקה, כל מה שנותר לך זה לעשות מספר אישי.”

נתרם ע”י: motiargaman.

  1. 9 תגובות על ”מספר אישי“

  2. 2010-01-17, 13:41

    מאת ערס פואטי

    כל ערך “מספרי” שמתוסף, רק מעמיק את פעולות החיבול וחיסול של האתר. (וסליחה על המבטא היפני).
    מספר אישי, מספר אי זוגי, מספרים מרכבים, מספרים רציונאליים, ובטח עוד כמה שאני שוכח. זה מתחיל להיות כמו פוקר וכמו פות, כשמשחק המילים קל מידי ומזמין מידי, ונותן לדורבניסט הצעיר הרגשה כוזבת של “בואנה הבאתי אותה פה במשחק מילים לפנים”.

    ציון תגובה: 4
  3. 2010-01-17, 14:07

    מאת אסף שגיא

    ערס, אני מסכים להכללה שלך ולזה שיש משחקי מילים על “מספר”. עם זאת, אני חושב שאם הם לא היו קיימים, אז המונח “מספר” המתאר אקט מיני הוא מטומטם, ונראה לי שהוא גם תרגום בבואה כושל.

    משחקי המילים המבוססים על “מספר” חינניים, ונותנים אספקט חשאי משהו לתיאור דברים מיניים. ומי כמונו יודע שאנחנו אוהבים להסתיר את הדברים האלה תחת מעטה של חשאיות?

    באנגלית, למשל, משתמשים ב-beating the bishop, varnishing the pole ועוד שלל דימויים כדי לתאר אוננות, ויש גם מונחים כאלה כדי לתאר סקס עם פרטנר (וניתן פה רק את Vitamin F).

    בשורה התחתונה (אשכרה) אני בעד כל הדימויים החשאיים לתיאור סקס ואוננות.

    ציון תגובה: 1
  4. 2010-01-17, 14:30

    מאת omeran

    כבר הרבה זמן שאני תוהה אם לזה סוזאן וגה מתכוונת כשהיא שרה על מישהו ש”משחק סוליטר” כל הלילה.

    ציון תגובה: 2
  5. 2010-01-17, 14:53

    מאת עופר

    אסף, שכחת שנים-שלושה ביטויים באנגלית כגון:

    Abusing the wicked stick
    Adjusting the antenna
    Aiding and abetting a known felon
    Applying the hand brake
    Arguing with Henry Longfellow
    Arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
    Attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
    Audition your hand puppet
    Backstroke roulette
    Badgering the witness
    Barking up the wrong tree
    Bash the candle
    Basting the ham
    Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
    Being rough with the sex stick
    Be your own best friend
    Beat the bologna
    Beat the dummy
    Beat the meat
    Beat the pud
    Beat the stick
    Beat up your date
    Beef tips stroking off
    Bleed the weed
    Blow your own horn
    Bludgeon the beefsteak
    Bop the bologna
    Bop the bonzo
    Box the Jesuit
    Box with Richard
    Brushing up on your typing skills
    Buff the banana
    Bugger your hand
    Building upper-body strength
    Burp the baby
    Burp the worm
    Butter the corn
    Calling down for more mayo
    Calling in the secret service
    Caning the vandal
    Caulking the cracks in the bathroom tile
    Charm the snake
    Check for testicular cancer
    Cheese off
    Choke Kojak
    Choke the chicken
    Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
    Clamp the pipe
    Clean your rifle
    Cleaning out your account
    Clear the snorkel
    Climb the tree
    Closet Frisbee
    Combing the hair on your bald pig Sally
    Combing your hair
    Communing with nature
    Consulting with your silent partner
    Corral your tadpole
    Couch hockey for one
    Crank the love pump
    Crank the shank
    Crimp the wire
    Crown the king
    Crushing pop cans in the dark
    Cuddle the kielbasa
    Cuff the carrot
    Daisy-chaining
    Dancing in the dragon’s fiery breath
    Dancing with the one-eyed sailor
    Date Miss Michigan
    Date Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters
    Date Rosie Palm and her five sisters
    Debugging the hard drive
    Defrosting the fridge
    Digital penile oscillation
    Discovering your own potential
    Distributing free literature
    Do handiwork
    Do it your way
    Do the janitor thing
    Do the white knuckler
    Doing your homework
    Drain the monster
    Dry humping the ottoma
    Eating grapes with the one-armed man
    Electing the President
    Engage in safe sex
    Exercise one’s right
    Exercising your right to privacy
    Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love
    Feed the ducks
    Feeding bologna to the Smurfs
    Feeling your way around
    Fiddle the flesh flute
    Firing the pound gun
    Fishing with dynamite
    Fist your mister
    Five knuckle shuffle
    Flick your Bic
    Fling your phallus
    Flip the bishop
    Flipping your omelet
    Flog the bishop
    Flog the dolphin
    Flog the dong
    Flog the log
    Flog the mule
    Flogging the egg man
    Fly fishing
    Fondle the fig
    Fondle your flagpole
    Free Willy
    Frost the pastries
    Frosting your maple bar
    Frying up the corndog
    Gallop the old lizard
    Gardening with the golden trowel
    Genital stimulation via phallengetic motion
    Get a date with Slick Mittens
    Get the German soldier marching
    Get to know yourself
    Get your pole varnished
    Give it a tug
    Give your low five
    Giving the half-blind dog a run for his money
    Go a couple of rounds with ol’ Josh
    Go blind
    Go on a date with Fisty Palmer
    Go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
    Go the blow
    Going Hans Solo on Darth Vader’s head
    Goose the gherkin
    Grease the pipe
    Greasing the three-legged cow
    Hand job
    Hard labor
    Have one off the wrist
    Helping put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college
    Hitchhike to heaven
    Hitchhike underneath the big top
    Hitting too close to home
    Hoisting your own petard
    Hold the bishop
    Hold the sausage hostage
    Holding your own
    Hone the cone
    Honk your horn
    Hosing down the driveway
    Hotfooting it to the nearest exit
    Hug the hog
    Hump your hose
    Investing in pork bellies
    Invoking the Oscar Meyer love spell
    Jack hammer
    Jazz yourself
    Jerk Jamby
    Jerk the gherkin
    Left to your own devices
    Letting the cat out of the bag
    Liquidating the inventory
    Locking the bathroom door
    Look for ticks
    Looking for clues with Fred and Daphne
    Lope the mule
    Love the Muppet
    Love’s labors lost
    Lubricating the love monkey
    Make a foreskin cone
    Make instant pudding
    Make the bald man puke
    Making a cash withdrawal
    Making chowder with sailor Ned
    Making it up as you go along
    Making magic with leftovers
    Making soup
    Making the bald man cry
    Making the bread rise
    Making the world safe for democracy
    Mangle the midget
    Manipulate the mango
    Manual labor
    Manual override
    Master Bacon, meet Rosie Hancock
    Meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
    Milk the lizard
    Milk the moose
    Milk the self
    Mount a corporal and four
    Much goo about nothing
    Nerk your throbber
    Null the void
    Oil the glove
    Onan’s olympics
    One gun salute
    One man band
    One-night-stand with yourself
    Opening the flood gates
    Pack your palm
    Paddle the pickle
    Paint the ceiling
    Paint the pickle
    Painting the flag pole
    Painting the picket fence
    Palm the calm
    Paying at the turnpike
    Peel the banana
    Perform diagnostics on your man tool
    Pet the lizard
    Pip the pumpkin
    Play a little five-on-one
    Play a one-stringed guitar
    Play five against one
    Play in a one-man show
    Play peek-a-boo
    Play pocket pinball
    Play pocket pool
    Play tag with the pink torpedo
    Play the skin flute
    Play tug-o-war with Cyclops
    Play Uno
    Playing it safe
    Playing the one-stringed melody
    Playing the single-string air guitar
    Plugging in the toaster
    Plunk your twanger
    Polish Percy in your palm
    Polish the family jewels
    Polish the helmet
    Polish the rocket
    Polish the rock-hard staff of St. Peter
    Polish the sword
    Pound off
    Pound the bald-headed moose
    Pound the pud
    Pound your flounder
    Pounding the fence post
    Prepare the carrot
    Prime the pump
    Pull rank
    Pull the bologna pony
    Pull the carrot
    Pull the goalie
    Pull the pole
    Pull the Pope
    Pull the pud
    Pull your own leg
    Pull your taffy
    Pulling your own weight
    Pulling yourself up by your own bootstrap
    Pump the python
    Pump the stump
    Punch the clown
    Punch the munchkin
    Punish Percy in your palm
    Putting your best foot forward
    Putting your foot down
    Putting your thumb in the porridge
    Raining on your parade
    Ram the ham
    Relishing your hot dog
    Riding the five-legged pony
    Roll your own
    Rolling it off the lot
    Romeo and himself
    Rope the pony
    Rope the Pope
    Rub one out
    Rub the pink eraser
    Rubbing Buddha’s tummy
    Run off a batch by hand
    Sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights
    Safest sex
    Sailing the mayonnaise seas
    Saluting the general
    Sampling the secret sauce
    Sand wood
    Scour the tower of power
    Scraping the bottom of the barrel
    Scratch the itch
    Screwing your courage to the sticking place
    Secret handshake
    Self abuse
    Self-induced penile regurgitation
    Sex with someone you really love
    Shake hands with Abe Lincoln
    Shake hands with the midget
    Shake hands with the unemployed
    Shake hands with your John Thomas
    Shake hands with your wife’s best friend
    Shake hands with Yul Brynner
    Shake the sauce
    Shake the sausage
    Shake the snake
    Shaking hands with Dr. Winky
    Shellac the shillelagh
    Shemp the hog
    Shift gears
    Shine the helmet
    Shine your pole
    Shoot for the moon
    Shoot putty at the moon
    Shoot the airplane
    Shooting yourself in the foot
    Shuck your corn
    Sizing things up
    Slam the ham
    Slam the salami
    Slam the salmon
    Slam the Spam
    Slap high fives with Yul Brynner
    Slap it
    Slap pappy
    Slap the carrot
    Slap the clown
    Slap the donkey
    Slap the purple-headed yogurt pistol
    Slap the salami
    Slapping Johnny on the back
    Sling the jelly
    Smack the salami
    Smiting the pink knight
    Snap the monkey
    Snap the rubber
    Snap the whip
    Solo flight
    Solo marathon
    Solo sex
    Spank Elvis
    Spank the bishop
    Spank the frank
    Spank the monkey
    Spank the salami
    Spank the wank
    Spanking the rooster
    Spending your Christmas bonus
    Squeeze the cheese
    Squeeze the juice
    Squeeze the toothpaste in the middle of the tube
    Squeeze your cheese-dog
    Squeezing the happy lumberjack
    Stewing in your own juices
    Stinky pinky
    Stir the batter
    Stir the yogurt
    Strain the main vein
    Straining your cabbage
    Stretching the truth
    Strip-mining with the spaghetti man
    Stroke the carrot
    Stroke the mole
    Stroke the one-eyed burping gecko
    Stroke the satin-headed serpent
    Stroke your poker
    Stroke your Twinkie
    Strumming the one-string harp
    Take matters into your own hands
    Take part in population control
    Take the fifth
    Take the monster for a one-armed ride
    Taking a few practice shots
    Taking a load off
    Talk quietly to yourself
    Tame the shrew
    Taunt the one-eyed weasel
    Teaching the Cyclops the lambada
    Tease the weenie
    Tenderize the tube steak
    Tending to your own affairs
    Test your batteries
    That crazy hand jive
    Thrash your thing
    Thump the pump
    Thump your thong
    Tickle the ivory
    Tickle the pickle
    Tickle the taco
    Ticklewigglejigglepickle
    Tipping off the inspector
    Toss the snag
    Toss the turkey
    Toss yogurt
    Tug the slug
    Twang the wire
    Tweak your Twinkie
    Twist your crank
    Unleashing the alabaster yak
    Unloading the gun
    Unpacking the moving van
    Varnish the flagpole
    Varnishing the banister
    Visiting with Papa Smurf
    Wake the dead
    Walk the dog
    Walk the plank
    Walking a mile in Mr. Wiggly’s shoes
    Wallowing in self pity
    Wank with the one-eyed wonder weasel
    Wash the meat
    Wax the Buick
    Wax the carrot
    Wax the dolphin
    Waxin’ n’ Milkin’
    Whack it
    Whack the weasel
    Whack Willy
    Whip the dummy
    Whip the one-eyed trouser snake
    Whip the one-eyed worm
    Whip the rat
    Whip the stiff
    Whip the wire
    Whip up some sour cream
    Whip your dripper
    Whitewashing with Huck and Tom
    Whittle the stick
    Wiggling your walrus
    Windsurf on Mount Baldy
    Wonk your conker
    Work things out
    Working at your own speed
    Working late at the office
    Working up a foamy lather
    Working without Annette
    Wrestle the dragon
    Wrestle the eel
    Wrestling with the bald champ
    Wring out your rope
    Wrist aerobics
    Yank the crank
    Yank the yo-yo
    Yank your plank

    ציון תגובה: 4
  6. 2010-01-17, 15:31

    מאת Shayke

    עופר, אתה גאון אבל אני לא מעיז לגעת בThumbs up של התגובה שלך. :)

    ציון תגובה: 3
  7. 2010-01-17, 15:31

    מאת Coffee Onan

    Oh-nun
    Oh-none

    ציון תגובה: 0
  8. 2010-01-17, 16:01

    מאת omeran

    הממ…
    העלית לי רעיון ל”רב-אונַן” למי ש(הממ, יש כ”כ הרבה אפשרויות לבחור) “לוחץ ידיים עם יול בריינר” באופן מוגזם.

    ציון תגובה: 1
  9. 2010-04-06, 12:09

    מאת fireshine

    omeran,
    לדעתי היא מדברת על עצמה ולא על מישהו.

    ציון תגובה: 0
  10. 2010-04-06, 12:09

    מאת fireshine

    עופר, זו נראית כמו רשימה שהוצאת מאיפשהו, לינק?

    ציון תגובה: 0

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